


win or lose with you

by sleepinnude



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 19:27:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6821059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepinnude/pseuds/sleepinnude
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[i guess i'll say MAJOR CIVIL WAR SPOILERS since this fic is a little insert for a scene that occurs in the movie. i don't think it gives much away, but to be safe, wait till you see the movie]</p>
<p>They're together till the end of the line -- Bucky knows because that's what pried his mind from seventy-plus-years of Hydra brainwashing. But what if, in this fucking elevator in Siberia, what if this is the end of the line for them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	win or lose with you

The thing is.

The thing is, the thing is, the thing is.

The thing is, they’re together till the end of the line.

Bucky doesn’t remember everything. He remembers most things. He remembers his name, Steve’s mom’s name. Can’t remember his own mom’s name but he remembers that she smelled like orange blossoms and sang “Cheek to Cheek” absently while doing dishes. He remembers Steve, Steve, Steve and he remembers that they’re together. That they’ve been together through schoolyard scraps, frigid winters, deathbed Rites (Steve’s own that didn’t take and then his mother’s, which did), wartime, and Captain America. They’ve been together through the Winter Soldier, through hellicarriers and the plunge into the Potomac.

And they’re together through this.

It’s been a trade of old lines and inside jokes this whole crazy ride between the two of them, but Bucky doesn’t say this line, at this time. He just looks across the Siberian steel to Steve. Feels Steve’s trust and faith and love and they’re together. Steve nods to him and it’s a fraction tactical but it’s more _we’re together_. It’s more _I’m with you to the end of the line_

Bucky takes in a deep breath. Holds it. Steve trusts him and it’s so all-encompassing it’s basically palpable but they’re still not quite sure what they’re up against. They’re still walking into a fucking live wire and Bucky trusts Steve but he doesn’t know that the two of them are going to be enough for this. Because this…

This. This, this, this.

This could be the end of the line.

And it’s two years since Bucky met Steve’s eyes and Steve was telling him that they were in it together then and it was seventy years before that and Bucky was looking into Steve’s eyes like that alone could save him and it was seventy years and some change and Bucky was opening his eyes to Steve, a little bigger and a little stronger but still Steve. Still Steve and Bucky. Still together.

Still together till the end, together till the end, together till the end, together till..

Till now.

The elevator lurches and Bucky has perfect balance but he compromises it to lean forward with the momentum. Seals his lips over Steve’s. And Steve who always kissed like it was a surprise, kissed like he wasn’t sure that the other person knew exactly who they were kissing, kissed like they were making a mistake in fact. Steve kissed back like it was what he was born to do.

And maybe he was.

Maybe Steve was born to be with Bucky because Bucky sure as shit was born to be with Steve, he knew that much.

His hand slides up, catches on Steve’s shoulder and squeezes so that it catches against the hinge along Steve’s neck and he gives a low whine into Bucky’s mouth. And God, fuck, God. God, Bucky wished they weren’t walking into their death because he wanted to spent years studying all the different ways to pull that noises and others just like it from the man pressed against him. He wanted to take Steve to some remote island where the locals don’t know their names or faces and fuck Steve until it was Steve with the memory loss. He wanted to wake up against Steve’s side and he wanted to laugh over their century-old memories together. He wanted to press his mouth into Steve’s skin and tell him “ _Dolores knew I was in love with you. They all always knew. Except you._ ”

Except Steve, except Steve.

Except Steve probably knew, judging by the laugh he was huffing out against Bucky’s cheek. Judging by the smile and the shy angle of his eyelashes and the slurring, “Guess eighty years ain’t too long’a wait.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Bucky growls but he’s grinning because he remembers Steve is an _asshole_ , he remembers, and he surges in for another kiss.

This one has teeth.

This one has teeth and tongue and anything that has teeth and tongue has the copper stain of blood as well but they’ve spilled enough of that already that a little more doesn’t matter. Steve gives a hitching breath and Bucky wants to say fuck the whole thing. Let Zemo ruin empires. Let Ross jerk himself off into power, let Tony Stark help him. Bucky doesn’t want to do anything that isn’t _Steve_ for the rest of his life. He’s been a prisoner of war for seventy years. He’s killed more innocents than he can count so maybe he doesn’t deserve a good life, but he sure as hell deserves a _break_.

But maybe he doesn’t because the elevator groans to a halt then and as the main doors open, Steve pulls back.

It’s slow and reluctant and there’s color across his nose and cheeks and Bucky aches. Steve meets Bucky’s eyes and it’s softer than before. Less determined, battle-forged, and more love. More love, more love, more love and Bucky remembers.  
Bucky remembers that his mother’s name was Winifred Barnes and he loved Steve Rogers.

He loved Steve Rogers in the careless way that young boys love their best friends and loved Steve Rogers in the heart-wrenchingly careful way that young teenaged boys loved their best friends in a world that didn’t want them to and he loved Steve Rogers in the desperate way that a man who knew he was dying loved his only lifeline.

And he loved Steve Rogers right in that moment, the way a man loved… Well, he loved Steve Rogers the way Steve Rogers loved him and if they were walking into the end of their line, then maybe that was okay. It wasn’t the best and it wasn’t ideal. Bucky had a lot of regrets and topping them would be never getting to see Steve Rogers flushed and sweaty and coming apart above him.

But it was okay, it was okay, it was…

It was them. It was the two of them together.

Steve caught his eyes one last time and Bucky’s heart stopped and then restarted and he was a man out of time -- misplaced in time and running out of it. Running headlong, now, into running out of it -- but he was a man next to Steve Rogers. He was James Buchanan Barnes, his name was Bucky, and he was standing next to Steve Rogers.

And, for this life and any other, that was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from dessa's haunting "it's only me" because really "i didn't come to play it safe/i came to win or lose with you" is basically the summary of civil war, amirite.  
> witness me (and my immense stucky/bucky pain) on [tumblr](http://www.buchannybarnes.tumblr.com) if you so choose.
> 
> ps - i saw civil war once and that was last night so if i got any sequencing/things wrong, like, forgive me.
> 
> thanks for reading!!!


End file.
